We’re Still Here, I Swear!

So, apologies again and again and again. I’ve quite honestly wracked my brains trying to think of a “relationship”-ish post, but I wasn’t able to come up with one. As such, I’ve decided in the spirit of my laziness and lackluster creativity to do a double beer post.

Here’s to Off Color Brewery in Chicago and New Holland Brewery from Holland, MI.

Off Color Scurry

Here we see the beer mouse in its natural environment, scurrying away for its Off Color honey molasses and oats. (Ignore the whiskeys in the back)

So a bit of a problem on this one actually. I don’t think I can do a proper review on this particular tasting because I don’t believe I’ve used an appropriate glass. With good reason however!

Off Color Brewery is an absolutely fantastic brewery in Chicago and aptly named. I don’t believe a single product of theirs has a similar counterpart or flavor profile with the products of any other Chicago brew. Further, I can’t say I’ve ever had a bad brew from Off Color, and I note I absolutely enjoyed their gose (a sour beer) which isn’t something I usually enjoy.

But here’s the problem, these guys are so freaking off color that I actually ended up screwing up the glassware for this drink. You see, Scurry is a Kottbusser style beer, a tradition of brewing that predates the (in)famous German Purity Laws of 1516 (woohoo, 500th bday!). In other words, this “wheat” beer doesn’t abide by the rule of *German Accent* “BEER MUST BE ONLY BARLEY, HOPS, AND WATER!” For those who want more information, here’s Off Color’s explanation of Scurry.

In abiding to a tradition, so obscure Google only gives me forums and Off Color’s website, the only information on appropriate glassware I could find for this drink was the classification of “wheat” beer. So, I dusted off my wheat beer glass, and let ‘er pour…………………………..and ended up with lackluster results.

The wheat glass’s hourglass shape does some really wacky stuff; the top of the glass affects the beer differently from the bottom. If you were to cut the glass asymmetrically, the top portion behaves much like a pint glass: the aroma is dispersed and the carbonation hits the tongue heavily releasing, in this case, a hop heavy forward. This was the unpleasant, unfamiliar part. The bottom half, however, gathers the aromas into the narrow belly, essentially acting as a snifter. I don’t think it does too much to the mouthfeel however, as the hourglass shape seems to do little to nothing with how the lip of the glass affects the bubbles.

[On a separate note, I’m a little convinced storing the beer in the garage where outdoor temperatures went anywhere from 35 to -3 degrees Fahrenheit may have impacted the quality of the beer……………..details :P]

So basically, this has been my excuse for why I can’t accurately judge this beer, especially since a pint glass did a much better job of delivering the honey, molasses flavors the Off Color advertises. This is a beer we will come back to on a later date.

Overall: x/10 cuz I have bad memory and poor judgement. Mistakes were made, I’ll learn not to serve this in the wheat glass.

New Holland Brewing Dragon’s Milk Reserve: Vanilla Chai

Excuse the mess, dragons aren’t a tidy bunch.

Visually: A rich, dark velvety black. Really reminiscent of the luscious super dark chocolates you see at your stores. The head foams up easily, and is semi-robust. It’ll hold its structure, but it’ll dissipate after 3-4 minutes unfortunately.

Smell: VANILLA + BOURBON there is no greater dessert combo. The chai part of it brings a slight floral essence to the drink, as if light caffeine were being floated out on alcoholic vanilla notes. Of course, being an imperial stout (ABV: 11%), very heavy on the alcohol smell as well.

Taste/Mouthfeel: THIIIICK MWAHAHAHHAHAHA. Some will know that I’m the type that actually like to chew my beer. The beer has the consistency of a light simply syrup and the carbonation of the head delivers pockets of bursting alcohol to the tongue. The body’s carbonation provides texture and a medium that let’s you taste everything at once. Vanilla, bourbon, hints of floral (probably the chai). It’s a thick, rich, powerfully sweet drink.

Overall: This is a no-brainer variation of the standard Dragon’s Milk. I might decide to age one of these bad boys. This is the first time I’ve ever had a variation on the Dragon’s Milk, and there are 3 others (but those will be out in the remaining quarters of 2016) I’m a sucker for Goose Island’s Bourbon County Brand Stouts, but if New Holland’s specials were more accessible to me I’d be a poor destitute man with too many bottles to choose from. Simply put, I love this beer. Excellent dessert drink and also an excellent pairing for a bourbon tasting.

9.5/10 [for there is alas no such thing as a perfect beer]

(Also, one of the bottles I had had a special cap dedicated to prostate cancer awareness. Good on you New Holland. I give you an extra 0.5/10 for that]

N’s Been a Lazy Poop Face so He’s Writing Again

OK – Relationshippy stuff up here, brew stuff down there. Go forth!

So first things first, I apologize again (hopefully for the last time) that these posts have been so delayed. N has admittedly had a lot of things on his plate and is sorta tearing his mind apart alternating between cover letters and personal statements. So………if you haven’t figured it out yet, N is sorta sick of writing already.

So, let’s not talk all about me today! Let’s talk about long distance relationships, LIKE THIS MO’FOKKIN BLOG IS SUPPOSED TO! [OK, so maybe a little about me]

So, a lesson I’ve learned frustratingly slowly these past few months is the danger of “hyping things up.” M is an “event” girl, she loves spending time with me (and her friends for that matter) doing things. Examples have been abound if you’ve been keeping up with us: metal concerts, PIRATE METAL CONCERTS, a hockey game, several random beer events, N scooting around the apartment like a slug as M stares in amazement/judgement.

BUT, here’s my problem.

Given Chicago’ plethora of beer and food events, I keep signing us up for them or express maybe a little too much interest in them. But being unemployed and relatively far from Chicago, I ultimately flake out on these events. This, of course, sorta puts a damper on M’s mood as she looks forward to these potential dates and my flip flop behavior fails to deliver.  So, I AM A POOP-FACE. I admit it, and given that I’ve teased M far enough for a year and a half I’ve learned (albeit incredibly late) that I really need to keep my childlike giddiness in check.

TLDR: if you’re in a long distance relationship especially for an extended period of time, I suggest you not get distracted by a bajillion things and just try to find one (maybe two) thing to really focus on. 😀

Dark Horse Brewing Co.

Plead the 5th Imperial Stout

Visual: Dark black composes most of the body of this thick brew.  This black concoction is thoroughly opaque though, light seems to be unable to escape the entirety of the glass.  Tilting the porter glass at an angle, there are hints of purple (really, I swear to god, this ain’t no white-gold/blue-black witchcraft) at the rim, forming the tiniest circular perimeter.  The white, sea foam head dies away quickly even with a relatively strong pour, so N is little bitty sorta sads. But, oh well, the head’s not the whole flavor.

Smell: I THOUGHT I BOUGHT A STOUT; IT SMELLS AS METAL AS AN IPA (that’s not a compliment in this case). There’s a strong metallic scent reminiscent of the IPA hoppiness (although, I’ve noticed that the water in my house has it’s own metallic smell. I may have a contaminated glass so I won’t stand firmly behind this). Licorice sweet mixes with a faint, coffee aroma. It’s an interesting combination but it makes sense if you’re talking about a stout.

Mouthfeel: It’s a bit viscous, like watered down motor oil. It works though, it doesn’t feel like water nor does it feel like it’s going to clog my throat on it’s way down. As Goldilocks would never say, “It’s just right!” (Cuz, she’s underage y’know. Minors don’t drink alcohol, of course!)

Taste: The beginning of the taste is semi-bitter, semi-rich.  The rich sweetness takes over quickly though and is accompanied by tiny, fruity tart. (Might be what explains the purple, wine hue). The hops carry the flavor from here, quickly becoming bitter to a peak and maintaining a plateau that slowly dies off.  I usually taste the sweet in stouts as a strong shock and run event but the slight bitterness of these hops maintains a “memory” of the sweetness. It could, in fact, be the licorice flavor actually; I’ve recently discovered while drinking absinthe based cocktails at Violet Hour that licorice is really good at carrying flavors. In which case, a blend of licorice, slight bitter hops, and faint, but significant sweet and roasted permeates and the end of the drink.

Overall: Sweet and rich, and somehow, for me, makes the slightest reference to an IPA.  But the bitter is well balanced and hidden behind the richness and the licorice is able to carry both realms of flavor for a very long time.  There’s a hint of roasted coffee mixed in there, but not significantly different from any other stout really.  The viscosity is a perfect balance, making the flavors mix well together. I would definitely recommend this to any dark, oil drinkers (shout out to Tim from Binny’s for recommending this to me).  9/10.

OTTER TAX